Least Frequently Asked Questions
It is the nature of a FAQ that the questions in the FAQ are actually the least frequently asked. This is because if you read the question on a frequently asked question page then you know the answer so you are unlikely to ever ask the question.
Who is Perfidious Albert?
In nineteen seventy something, a crack software developer was born in a maternity hospital to a mother that deserved better. This man promptly questioned everything by constantly asking “why?”, and even more annoyingly “why not?”. Today, not wanted by any employers, he survives as a freelance e-commerce expert and software consultant. If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find him. Maybe you can hire, Perfidious Albert.
Why should I use Perfidious Albert?
If you want an easy life, you shouldn’t. Perfidious Albert is disagreeable, stuck in his ways, and hard to work with. He hates shortcuts, his moral values tend to favour the little guy, and he doesn’t compromise easily. He is a big believer in breaking eggs to make omelettes, but he hates cliches so never says so. If you got this far then may we suggest you back away. He’s not worth it. Work with these guys instead. I have no idea who they are – we just Googled “Shopify Ireland” and they came up first. They can’t be harder to work with than Perfidious Albert, that’s all we know.
On the other had he does have 25 years of experience and built his first website just 6 years after Tim Berners-Lee invented the world wide web. He has worked for Microsoft, General Electric, and even An Garda Síochána. He has just finished building a world class e-commerce ticketing system for Rathlin Ferry and Department for Infrastructure in Northern Ireland. He did that on his own. So maybe he is worth the pain. Maybe.
Will I be on top of Google?
Only if Google is a pet name for your pool boy. SEO is a skilled job that takes time and dedication. Perfidious Albert is dedicated, but not to SEO. What I can do is point you towards the best SEO expert in Ireland.
Will I be able to update my own website?
I will insist you learn how to use Shopify and that you will love working on your own website. If you need us we are here.
Do you outsource?
No. Software developers in countries where most outsourcing happens get paid about €1 per hour and they need to get the work done fast in order to feed their family and keep them alive. As a result of this they equate software development with building a wall - forget the foundations, just get it built, plaster over it, and get paid. I don't blame them and people who outsource to these markets deserve the crap they get back. We might occasionally outsource to developers that are based in Ireland and that we know and trust - you will always know when this happens and why.
How long does it take to get my website live?
Perfidious Albert is middle aged. He drinks too much single pot still Irish whiskey and eats too much low and slow barbequed grass fed Irish beef. It is in your interest to work as quickly as he does. Simple e-commerce websites can and should be live in under a week, but the consultation and business building will take longer. Larger business applications could take 6 months. If your project is bigger than that I will probably direct you elsewhere.
How much will it cost me?
It won't. We make money for businesses like yours. You really need to speak to us.
